


If only.... I wouldnt feel the void....

by Colin_Dawn



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Love Story, M/M, Me Sad, Melancholy, Sad Stiles Stilinski, Undying Love, pinning, when its true you cant walk away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:55:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25318690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Colin_Dawn/pseuds/Colin_Dawn
Summary: Stiles misses Derek.What it could have been...If only....
Relationships: Derek Hale & Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, sterek - Relationship
Kudos: 16





	If only.... I wouldnt feel the void....

**Author's Note:**

> Its been a while..  
> Im going to post a happy story again promise!!!  
> Just something personal I guess.  
> Hope you like it.

It’s been 7 years since he last spoke to him.

Its been a long time since Stiles heard the werewolf's voice... 

Still Derek’s absence was hunting him.

Some would say it was an unhealthy fixation he developed for the werewolf.

He and Derek were never romantically involved.

It was all in his head. He stupid head and heart.

They both hoped…

Stiles craved love like every human being.

He chased it in all the wrong places.

On people who were passengers to his life.

One or two hook-ups that he secretly regretted cause they meant nothing.

He wanted so much to be something.. Anything. To someone.. 

Seeking validation on someone else though is meant to go wrong.. 

Waiting to love yourself, through someone else’s eyes is equally wrong.

He blamed himself really... 

He isolated himself. He never seeked anyone from the pack the moment Derek left Beacon Hills.

He tried to move on too.

He failed even though he was scared to admit it.

Maybe he gave his heart a long time ago.

Maybe he is too scared to love again.

The disappointment that followed after the one who has been pinning.. Left him hanging . 

It wasnt easy. Love was never easy for him.

Loving someone who would never feel the same way you did, was meant to lead to disappointment.

And now he hides himself between his job; giving love to his family, his dad, and his dog Shadow.

He moves around looking for something.

Trying to fill the void in his chest, trick his loneliness.

Its not easy. It never is.

He spends nights crying to himself.

Thinking the moments he could have spoken. Claim who he wanted. Maybe things would be different now. 

Maybe Derek would have stayed if **he** was different.

Maybe he could have love his havoc.

But Stiles is weak. Broken. Emotionally disable.

He can't face his feelings, he is drowning in them.

Needed someone to count on, was too much to ask?

Wanted to give love to Derek was it too much?

He honestly didn’t know.

/-/

His birthday are coming.

He plans on spending them alone.

It's s better this way.

Safer.

No one is left for him anyway.. 

He got tired crying and when he lets himself believe that there are no more tears left to give his eyes prove him wrong. Everytime.. 

He gazes on his window.

His dad is working. He is back on his childhood room gazing upon the full moon.

He is no wolf but he catches himself feeling the pull of the moon.

It reminds him of green eyes and soft growls.

Promises he gave to himself.

 _Maybe I’ll tell him tomorrow_.

But that tomorrow never came.

He craves him.

Misses him.

Longs to feel his strong arms around him.

An embrace that actually means something to him.

Soft lips.. 

Tender kisses.

Maybe he doesn’t worth them.

Derek is gone.

He falls asleep and wakes up with tears in his eyes.

-/-

Days become years and he still wakes up alone.

Its ok now…

A lie he got used to; fooling himself.

He still needs him. Every single day... 

He denied it all the same.. 

-/-

He decides to give another chance.

Falling for the wrong man again.

Another emotional disable soul... 

Like him... 

He prays..

He hopes.

Deep down he knows it’s pointless.

Still he tries.

And fails.

Big time…

-/-

He returns to Beacon Hills permanently even though he never wanted to be there.

It was just a city.

Another place for him.

People make the place.

And he had so few of them.

He wants to talk to someone.

Wants to scream his lungs out.

He wont do it.

So he writes.

His hopes.

His dreams.

And falls asleep every night creating a new scenario.

Where Derek comes and all the pain he feels fades away.

-/-

Who said that love was easy?

He was a liar.

Love devastates. Especially if its unreturned.

-/-

Until one rainy night Derek crawls to his bed.

He whispers I love you'd nd kisses him senseless.

And Stiles maybe has finally lost his mind cause he surrenders unconditionally while he prays to be real.

Prays that Derek stays.

-/-

In the morning Derek swears to stay.

As long as Stiles wants him to.

And Stiles wonders outloud 

"What if I want you to stay forever?

What if I need you to be here with me?" 

\--/--

Derek just smiles….

Was it all a dream?

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are always welcomed and encouranging.


End file.
